Hair-raising Conversations

Hair growth, nearly
2 years post chemo

"Wow, look at your hair!"
"Are you trying to grow your hair longer?"
"I liked your hair shorter."
"What happen to your curly hair?"

My hair is the focus of most conversations lately and I’m completely fine with that. Talking about my hair is a refreshing change from talking about cancer.  I understand it’s hard to relate to someone who has gone through cancer treatments; there’s a fear of asking the wrong question or you may be unsure of the battles they might still be facing. Talking about hair growth is a “safe” topic of conversation with a former chemo patient because it focuses on recovery, but it doesn’t need to be the center of every conversation.

The next time you cross paths with a survivor consider the following:

• Be honest. Let the person know you don’t know what to say. It’s okay to share your awkwardness, they will understand! Let the survivor guide the conversation and decide the topics to discuss. No matter what direction the conversation takes, just acknowledging the person and saying hello means a lot.
• Ask questions. Asking questions shows you care. If the survivor is willing to discuss details, they will; often sharing the experience can be therapeutic. However, you may find the survivor reluctant to talk about their treatments. A vague response like “I'm just glad to have it all behind me now", would be a cue to switch gears and move on to another topic.
• Don’t let cancer dominate the conversation. Cancer fighters are hungry for a sense of normalcy. Feel free to continue conversations that took place before diagnosis. This doesn’t mean you should ignore they had an illness, but know they are grateful to have conversations on other subjects. Most importantly, the survivor will recognize that you still see them as a friend and not just a cancer patient.
• Congratulate them on feeling better and for fighting. Avoid using phrases that include “you’re cured” or “glad you beat this”; survivors are not cured of cancer, they are simply in remission; meaning there are no signs or symptoms of cancer currently present.  Alternatively, you could say “I’m so glad you fought” or “Congratulations, you must be happy to have chemo behind you!”
• Show positivity. The best compliment I received after treatment was “You handle the entire situation with grace.” If you find the survivor’s fight to be inspiring, say it! Every fighter has overcome physical and personal struggles to be here and would love to know that you recognize their efforts.

Regardless of the topic or the amount of words exchanged, know that survivors are grateful for the friends, and acquaintances that continue to be a part of their journey.

Chemo Survival Kit

My first chemo: Nov 2012

When I was diagnosed with cancer I was hopeful that my treatment would be limited to surgery and radiation only. But as my test results were revealed, it became evident that chemotherapy was a necessity in order to win my fight.  I spent a year in the infusion center, visiting every 3 weeks, and during that time I discovered some tips from patients and nurses that made the experience slightly more manageable.

Chemotherapy affects everyone differently, however, there are common side effects that can be treated to make the journey a little brighter. If you or someone you know is facing chemotherapy treatments, the following items will be helpful to have on hand:

• Soft Bristle Toothbrushes- Oral hygiene is important during chemo due to the increased chance of mouth sores. Visit your dentist prior to your first chemo treatment if you are able, as dental cleanings are not recommended once chemo begins due to risk of infection. Brush your teeth and tongue after every meal using a non-whitening toothpaste. Colgate Wisp (single use toothbrushes) are great to have on hand too.
• Alcohol Free Mouthwash- Mouthwash that contains alcohol can contribute to dryness and irritation in the mouth. Biotene is a popular choice for many chemo patients to eliminate dry mouth and fight infection. Rinse several times a day and consider purchasing 2 bottles-one for home and another to keep at work.
• Baking Soda- If you are unable to locate an alcohol free mouthwash or perhaps you are traveling, you can create a mouth rinse using 1/2 tsp baking soda and 8oz warm water.  This is a natural and cost-effective way to fight infection. 
• Flexible Drinking Straws- Drinking water is vital when undergoing chemotherapy. Water reduces fatigue and protects the kidneys from the toxins of the drugs. It can be difficult to force yourself to drink water, but drinking slowly through a straw is often more tolerable than drinking from a cup. Drinking from a straw is also helpful if smells from certain beverages trigger nausea.
• Digital Thermometer- Chemo patients must monitor their temperatures throughout the day. An easy to use digital thermometer is a necessity.
  
• Plastic Flatware- Using plastic utensils during meals helps offset a metallic taste which may form in the mouth.  Several friends also shared that they limited meal preparation to ceramic and glass cookware. Tip: Sucking on ice chips during chemo infusions reduces the metallic taste after each treatment.
• Saline Nasal Spray- Nosebleeds can be a common side effect of certain treatments which lower your platelet count. Using a saline spray, like Ocean Saline Nasal Spray, will help moisten the membranes of the nose and reduce the amount of nose bleeds. 
• Tissues- Due to the increased risk of nosebleeds during chemo, buy several boxes of tissues and keep a pack with you at all times! My first nose bleed happened spontaneously in the car two weeks after my first chemo and I had no tissues with me. My quick thinking daughter tossed me a tampon to stop the bleeding-True Story!
• Eye Drops- Over time chemo dries out eyes, and as a result your tear ducts may overcompensate by developing an excessive amount of  tears.  Use a lubricating eye drop, like Refresh or Natural Tears to combat watery eyes. Watery eyes usually occur after several chemo treatments. My eyes watered constantly after my fifth infusion, often inhibiting me from driving. Be proactive and use the drops-don't wait!
• Aquaphor- Dry irritated skin is common during chemotherapy. Aquaphor is a petroleum-jelly product that helps ease irritation and protect the skin. Keeping your hands and nail area moisturized helps prevent cuts that could lead to infection, especially if you've had underarm lymph node dissection. This product is also helpful to apply to your treatment area during radiation. If cost is not a factor, many patient friends also recommend Lindi Skin products.
• Claritin- This tip was shared with me by my oncology nurse: Taking Claritin once a day for 5 days starting with chemo day, reduces bone aches often associated with Taxotere and Neulasta. It really works!
• Tea Tree Oil- Many people experience changes in their nails during chemo. You may notice indentations or lines (known as ‘Beau's lines’) developing in your nail bed after each treatment cycle, or your nails may lift off entirely. Applying Tea Tree Oil to the nail is an effective way to fight nail damage and prevent fungal infections frequently caused by chemo.  Apply a thin amount to the nail twice a day.
• Mberry- Taste alteration is one of the most common side effects of chemo treatment. This amazing tablet fools your taste buds by blocking sour and bitter receptors for up to a half hour, allowing chemo patients to temporarily regain their sense of taste. Unfortunately, I learned about Mberry too late and wasn't able to try it personally, but several friends found it really made a difference.

 For More Tips Follow My Chemo Board on Pinterest.

An Unexpected Lesson: What my Hair Loss Taught Me

 Head Shaving Day: Dec 17, 2012

A year ago today I sat anxiously in the chair of the hospital boutique waiting to have my head shaved. My sister Beth stood by my side and documented the event through her camera. With each stroke of the razor I watched my hair fall to the floor all around me. But I wasn’t sad for the loss, I was relieved. Only two weeks after the first chemo my hair began shedding -- strands of hair collected on my pillow at night, and covered my clothes during the day. My thinning hair had become a nuisance. Shaving my head was a way for me to take control, it was a victorious moment!

Fast forward to today, nearly 9 months since my last chemo, my hair is now 2-3 inches long and full of curl. Reactions to my new hair have varied. Overwhelmingly, people are surprised by the amount of curl coming in, but the truth is, for the last 2 decades I straightened my hair each morning. I fought my curls. I believed my natural hair made me look unkempt and awkward. I spent 30 minutes each day blow drying and applying a flat iron to my hair in order to tame my locks and keep up with the trendy straight hair image.

Hair growth at 9 months from last chemo

That was then. 

A benefit of  having cancer is that it makes you instantly aware of what matters most in life. I'm thankful to have hair again, whether it's curly, wavy or straight-it's all mine! As reflected by my head full of curls, I’m learning to live more freely, and accepting things as they are. My curls are forcing me to "go with the flow" and to stop stressing over items I can not control. Most importantly, I am grateful for this second chance to discover who I really am rather than worrying about what others think of me.