An Unexpected Lesson: What my Hair Loss Taught Me

 Head Shaving Day: Dec 17, 2012

A year ago today I sat anxiously in the chair of the hospital boutique waiting to have my head shaved. My sister Beth stood by my side and documented the event through her camera. With each stroke of the razor I watched my hair fall to the floor all around me. But I wasn’t sad for the loss, I was relieved. Only two weeks after the first chemo my hair began shedding -- strands of hair collected on my pillow at night, and covered my clothes during the day. My thinning hair had become a nuisance. Shaving my head was a way for me to take control, it was a victorious moment!

Fast forward to today, nearly 9 months since my last chemo, my hair is now 2-3 inches long and full of curl. Reactions to my new hair have varied. Overwhelmingly, people are surprised by the amount of curl coming in, but the truth is, for the last 2 decades I straightened my hair each morning. I fought my curls. I believed my natural hair made me look unkempt and awkward. I spent 30 minutes each day blow drying and applying a flat iron to my hair in order to tame my locks and keep up with the trendy straight hair image.

Hair growth at 9 months from last chemo

That was then. 

A benefit of  having cancer is that it makes you instantly aware of what matters most in life. I'm thankful to have hair again, whether it's curly, wavy or straight-it's all mine! As reflected by my head full of curls, I’m learning to live more freely, and accepting things as they are. My curls are forcing me to "go with the flow" and to stop stressing over items I can not control. Most importantly, I am grateful for this second chance to discover who I really am rather than worrying about what others think of me.